I’m With You in the Darkness, a Demonic Haunting

I’m no stranger to paranormal happenings. Ever since I was young, I have been both sensitive and fascinated by ghosts and hauntings. When I was a kid and stayed home “sick”, my dad and I would binge all those cheesy haunting shows from the 90s and early 00s, which I still love and watch to this day. I can feel the energy imprinted in spaces, and entities and beings often make themselves known to me. Generally, I have clairaudient and clairvoyant abilities, meaning I have auditory experiences in my conscious environment and I can physically feel unseen beings and their emotions in my space. Occasionally, I receive visions or dreams, often quick little glimpses of spliced memories that are not my own. Sometimes this energy is a reverberation of trauma or abuse. Other times, it’s the homey energy of someone who loved a place so much, that they returned in the afterlife (as in my home, which is filled with loving and protective spirits, that are attached to the property and more specifically, the house).

 Chapter I: Night Terrors  

Because of these capabilities, I knew right away that my boyfriend’s apartment was haunted from the very beginning. We had been friends for many years and eventually, we began a long distance relationship. I was living in New York City at the time and he was in our hometown in Nebraska. I had come back twice to visit for a few days at a time before moving back to the Midwest and I had paranormal experiences in the space right away. The energy felt off and I could feel multiple presences. There were inexplicable bursts of cold air, the feeling of being watched, and the slightest of movements out the corner of my eye. I had even said to him, “So… You know this place is haunted, right?” He said it wasn’t because he was sensitive (he was not) and would have felt it if it was (he did not). 

The building looked to be 20s era, with Art Deco architecture. In this particular apartment, the activity seemed to stem from the front doors, which were huge floor to ceiling, heavy wooden doors with intricate woodwork. There was an outside door and a small entry way before the doors that actually led into the apartment. I didn’t know then what I know now, but having had numerous paranormal experiences since then and delving deeply into research and my own witchcraft practice, I believe it was a portal. The energy was inconsistent, sometimes it felt active but fine, and other times the atmosphere was heavy and unnerving. There was something deeply wrong energetically and I, and my dog, could feel it.

After we moved in, the activity escalated very quickly, over the course of just a few months. I had visited in September and October, before moving in with my dog, Beazles, in November. Our last day in the apartment was a few days after Christmas, after we were forced to break the lease because of the intense and dangerous paranormal phenomena. 

The night terrors started immediately, beginning during my first visit. I have PTSD and I’ve experienced night terrors of black figures hovering around me for years, but these night terrors were distinctly different. Instead of dark shapes on the outskirts of my peripherals, I had visions of people trying to get into the space from the front door, watching me with an evolved conscious. I woke up screaming during both visits and scared the absolute shit out of my new partner. It’s fairly alarming when you’re sleeping and someone new is sleeping next to you, and they start thrashing around, disturbing the space with guttural, blood curdling screams. (Talk about embarrassing.)   

The night terrors became more frequent and intense after I moved in. During these episodes, the entities were no longer just staring at me, they began opening the door and crossing over, INTO the space. They looked like people, but it was a facade. They were trying too hard to blend in and something felt terribly off. Their bodies were stiff and their movements were jerky and unnatural. Their eyes were sunken and scary, hyper observant and alive. I could see them and I knew it in my bones that they could see me. The first one that actually crossed the threshold into our apartment was a man on crutches. He was walking and then stopped and slowly turned to face me, staring as I stared back. He was unnaturally tall and wasn’t limping or relying on the crutches, I think it was a faulty projection to make it seem like a person with human experiences. We locked eyes and then he smiled a horrible, menacing smile and began walking toward the bedroom, toward me. I woke up screaming and chaos quickly ensued.

Chapter II: Physical Distress & Sickness

I dreamt of many other entities whose features I don’t recall, but I specifically remember one posing as a woman, who was looking in the windows on the front doors (keep in mind that the doors were gigantic and the windows were at the very top, making all these entities extremely, irregularly, tall). She kept staring into the apartment and then looking down toward what would have been the height of a child. I saw her trying to pull them through the doorway. I woke up and was terrified that I was seeing more and more entities successfully entering our apartment. I later found out that Anthony had dreamt of a child’s shadow in the doorway the same night, and had woken up shortly before I started screaming.  

A couple days later, I was in the bathroom getting ready for bed. As I was washing my face, with my eyes closed, I felt a tug on my shorts. Two distinct pulls, as if a small child was trying to get my attention. I froze and quickly rinsed the soap from my face before opening my eyes and felt the presence still, but saw nothing visible. I thought it was a young boy who was trapped and trying to communicate with me. I fell for the ruse, as so many people do, because it was not a child. It was not a benign, sweet lost soul seeking comfort. The moment it touched me, I got very, very sick for two straight weeks. I couldn’t keep anything down, I was vomiting every single day multiple times a day and started to lose weight. And my vertigo disorder, which had been managed before I moved, struck again with a vengeance. I was waking up around 3am often with full vertigo spins. I was so sick that I couldn’t leave the apartment. It was feeding on my energy and wasn’t letting me leave. Anthony was working 12+ hour shifts as a bartender and I was often alone until 4 or 5am.

By this point, my Beazles’ entire demeanor changed. He was constantly alert, nervous and guarding me, always fixating on the door and never turning his back to it. He wasn’t as spunky as he had been before we moved and seemed perpetually stressed. He was my dog in high school and grew up in parents’ home and he absolutely adored Anthony, so it wasn’t out of jealousy or a new environment. Whenever we would take him off the property to go on a walk or visit my parents, he relaxed and went back to his usual self. But the second we returned, his stress returned. Beazles was always extra protective whenever I was sick and his uneasiness continued to grow after I wasn’t getting better and after the bruises and dark red scratches showed up. 

The scratches and bruises bloomed all over my body, mostly in places I couldn’t reach or strange places- across my back and shoulders, in particular, I would find huge brown-green bruises on the back of my upper arms. I had always bitten my nails down to the nub, up until quite recently, and I knew there was no way I could create or replicate the long, deep scratches- I tried. I was also experiencing extremely vivid, graphic visions of self-harm and suicide. The thoughts were planted in my mind and I would find myself seeing the same violent, bloody image over and over. I was exhausted and physically beaten down. I couldn’t eat or sleep and slipped into an intense depression. 

 Chapter III: Auditory Confrontation 

I tried to rest and take naps whenever I could, but no matter how tired I was, I could never fully sleep. The first real auditory experience I had in the apartment came as I laid down for a nap, around 5 pm in the evening. The bedroom door was open and I could see the main doors from our bed. I started to drift off but was still conscious of my surroundings, aware of the cars passing by and the rain falling just outside the bedroom window. I could still move, and was in a strange in between place- I wasn’t experiencing sleep paralysis, nor was I dreaming, but I also wasn’t entirely awake. Instead of sleep, I transitioned into an elevated conscious in a way that I hadn’t experienced before. I knew that I had found a tear in the fabric of this world and was crossing into an unknown dimension. It should have scared me but I was fascinated. 

I heard a voice speaking to me, soft and low. The sound was faint and fuzzy, I followed it and waded through static. I couldn’t quite make it out at first. Everything was black, it was a solely auditory experience. I listened intently and tried to mentally tune the vibrations to get a clearer connection, as one would do with an old radio. A male voice said, “I’m with you. I’m in the darkness and I’m with you.” It was suspiciously soft and caring on the surface, but something was off; the phrasing was predatory- I didn’t trust it. Filled with unease, I began tuning out the voice, but it started speaking more forcefully and more clearly, “You can’t ignore me.”  I felt threatened and was beginning to feel frightened. I moved away and tried to tune it out. Then it screamed loudly, “You can never ignore me!” before laughing menacingly and mockingly. Everything was still black, and sounds came from all directions, it engulfed me and all I could hear and feel was this angry voice and evil, condescending laugh. 

At the exact moment the entity stopped speaking, the static erupted into a chorus of completely clear screams and cries. I broke into a reality that I didn’t understand (although now, as mentioned, I am almost certain it was a portal, and / or there were many spirits trapped by this dominant entity.) Despite all my experiences and physical attacks, I thought I was dealing with an angry spirit, and not something more sinister, but it was in this moment that it all became clear: it wasn’t a ghost, it was demonic.

My eyes snapped open and my dog was on full alert, staring intently at the doorway. Anthony was kind but dismissive of my experiences, even though he had corresponding, but mild, incidents. I found out later that he had a dream and heard static the night before my auditory experience, just as he had dreamed of a child’s shadow in the doorway, at the same time as my night terror. 

Chapter IV: Nightmare Attack 

It made me doubt myself and I started to wonder if I was imagining it. I was depressed having left New York, which is my favorite place in the world, and the transition back into Nebraska was not smooth or joyous. As grateful for Anthony as I was, I did not want to be there. My sister was very sick and I thought we were going to lose her, so I left my favorite city behind and moved back to be there for my family, particularly my nephew. I was so mentally and physically battered that I finally snapped. The final straw came from my own arrogance. I tried to assert dominance by saying, “If you’re here, give me a concrete sign. We have to coexist, or you need to leave.” (Pro tip, don’t do that.)

That night, I went to sleep and suffered an extremely violent night terror, which turned physical. I felt panicked in the dream and was unable to move. I watched in complete horror, as massive black spikes slowly pushed through the wall and in between our latticed rod iron bed frame, directly into my neck and the base of my head. They moved slowly, intentionally, to prolong my fear. I was feeling a hot searing pain as I was laying down but I was also watching from above and seeing myself from this demonic entity’s perspective. I felt the blades pierce my skin and was desperately trying to wake Anthony, who was sleeping soundly and didn’t see the spikes coming toward him. 

I woke up screaming and felt a force underneath my body, holding me down by my stomach and hips. I was frantically trying to get up, all the while feeling a horrible pain in my neck and burning across my stomach. The air was heavy and oppressive, the alarm clock read 3:15 am. We turned on the lights and I couldn’t move my neck, which felt terribly stiff and sore, and was hot to the touch. I lifted up my shirt and saw three deep scratches on either side, as if someone was grabbing me from behind. The scratches were very unusual and appeared to be under the skin,where they stayed visible for well over a week. This was the moment where Anthony finally sensed its presence and knew that I was being attacked. We grabbed the essentials and fled to my parents’ house with Beazles in the middle of the night. I had returned just briefly to grab more clothes a couple days later and felt the entity stalking me, following right behind. As I stepped out the door, it shoved me and I nearly tripped down the steps. 

That was the last time I actually set foot in the apartment. We ended up breaking the lease and Anthony took care of the cleaning and packing  alone, grudgingly. He had spoken to the caretaker of the building and asked if anyone else had strange experiences, which he denied. And whether he wanted to admit it or not, he doubted me after this conversation. He knew the apartment was haunted but tried to downplay the severity. I had moved in with my parents immediately following my injuries and felt unsupported. I told him he could stay, but that I would be gone. He ultimately chose me, but it was a point of contention in our relationship for quite a long time. 

Chapter V: Demon Revelation 

The attack was shortly after Christmas and we were invited to a New Year’s party a few days later. Anthony had forgotten something at the apartment, as we weren’t fully moved out by this point. He pulled up to the building and ran in, while Beazles and I stayed in the car. He parked right in front of the door. I could feel its energy right away and knew it was watching me from just a few feet away. I couldn’t help but stare, I couldn’t look away. A black mass began to form and I spotted a pair of intense, crimson red eyes. 

At first, I thought it was a reflection from Christmas lights across the street, since it was during the holidays. I glanced over and saw that there were only white lights, and that they were too far away to be reflected. When I looked back, its billowing shape slowly filled the entire doorway, and it was blacker and denser than the dark winter sky. Beazles tensed up and began to tremble, and I knew then that he had seen it too. I was filled with a horrible sense of dread and foreboding and it had me locked in its hypnotic gaze. By the time Anthony emerged, it had dissipated, receding into the night without a trace.  

That was the last time I ever returned to the area and the only time I saw it in its true form. Anthony came back that week and finished cleaning and moving everything out. Just before he left for the final time, he felt a presence behind him. He whipped around and saw a shimmering mirage of energy, just for a second. When he returned back to my parents’ house, I found several scratches on the base of his neck. He finally experienced a tangible taste of what I’d been through. 

I think about this entire demonic haunting often. I am still completely intrigued and bewildered that I experienced such a thing. It was one of the most terrifying and intense periods of my life. And unsurprisingly, given my affinity for the occult and all things paranormal, it did not dissuade me from paganism and witchcraft. In fact, it was a defining moment that prompted my journey. If I was thrown into the same situation now, I would be much, much better equipped to handle it and would be way less surprised by its intensity. But no matter how experienced I am, or anyone else, caution is an absolute must when diving into the paranormal. There are forces outside our dimension and understanding that need to be taken seriously and respected. There are multitudes of universes and dimensions, just beyond the veil,  that we can’t begin to understand. Always be alert and be careful if  you ever hear something go bump in the night.